How do you eat an elephant?*

by Zach Briggs

One bite at a time? What? How are you even a project manager? 

If we have to eat an elephant, then we start by renting some commercial freezer space, a chainsaw, and a vacuum sealer because we're not getting through this thing in a single sitting. How did we even come into the possession of a dead elephant that needs to be disposed of? How long do we have to make this thing disappear?

What? Whoah whoah whoah whoah. Whoah. So we've got a hard deadline of 4 days and don't yet have an elephant of any sort, much less a freshly butchered one? No, I don't think "spike out a trip to Africa and look for a sick one" is a reasonable first step. Yeah, no, we cant just "use a jQuery plugin for that."

How about we take the product owner out for some drinks and manage expectations? We can find out what they're trying to accomplish with all the endangered animal murder and see what else we can do for them.

 *The correct answer is "by cheating."